Thoughts On A Job Post #13

What follows is a real email I received; while I have twelve past posts with real questions and comments on real job ads, note that THIS IS VERY CLEARLY AN EMAIL SCAM, AND MY COMMENTS ARE SARCASTIC and/or satirical in nature, and are meant for amusement purposes only. I’m not that naturally funny, so if you have any to add, or can post a job scam you’ve received (with identifying details changed, of course, to protect the privacy of the spammer), please feel free.

Dear teacher,

My name is Joe Smeuthe* from Liechtenstein [This is correctly spelled; I checked]. we live in Nigeria, [Now really, if you’re from Liechtenstein, can’t you just be satisfied with associating that country’s name with spam and internet scams? Furthermore if you had fooled anyone by mentioning Liechtenstein, you lost your edge by mentioning Nigeria, which lost of people now associate with email scams. Bad spammer, bad!] where i work with a pharmaceutical company (VOLKMAX PHARMACEUTICALS) .i can’t speak English language fluently. i need an esl teacher for period of a year, who shall devote his [Looks like I’m disqualified as a woman, bummer] best efforts to the performance of his duties.

Also will be expected to use his professional experience to try as much as possible to make the lesson interesting and exciting You will also teach my wife English for five hours per day [Five hours a day with the wife? Maybe something other than esl is involved and this is why they specify they need a man?!]we will pay you very well, Monthly salary to be paid to you is US$7000 either by cash or cheque. [I bet that does go a long way in Nigeria.] You will be paid by 20th day of the month,Other benefits include;
— Free accommodation, private room, and bathroom [Beware of ads which don’t mention a bathroom – imagine living without one!].
— round trip paid air ticket from your home/location to Nigeria at the beginning of the contract.
Please note that we are very happy,friendly,good Christian couple. [Thank goodness; you wouldn’t want to make the mistake of working for someone of a different religion…]we promise to make sure you enjoy your stay with us.

We are now hoping to hear from you. [Despite my sarcasm, I did find this line touching for a few seconds.]

Joe Smeuthe

*Not his real name

And the ESL Jobs World site which comes up when you google the company’s name shows yet another ad for a different employee of said company. Word to the wise – pick the one I got in my email: you make at least $1300 per month more! The other one does, however, include an address and phone number, so if you like to do things in person, give that some thought.